The grass is greener, right here.

What a wonderful way to start Monday. Stepped on the scale and it read 163.8 pounds.
I appreciate every single pound that melts away. So inspiring. Knowing that I don’t have to spend the following years as an obese person, makes me feel so happy. I have never thought of myself as being a fat person. I always think of myself as a normal weight person. So, looking into the mirror these last 30 years, always shocked me. Who is this fat person? So, finding the solution to getting back to me – priceless. Speaking of which, buying only potatoes for two months, has really been a huge savings in money for food. Whether for groceries, fast-food, or restaurants. It’s amazing how quickly it adds up. I don’t expect to live on potatoes forever, but it has been fun to see the savings for now. It’s hard to believe how much weight I really have. Here I’ve lost over 25 pounds. First of all, I am just now fitting into the clothes I’ve been wearing. Well, stuffed into actually. Thought I would be buying new clothes, but no, not yet.
Bought a size Large top, the first of September – I’m still too fat for it. Kind of shocking isn’t it? But, all the more reason, that this is so real for me. 25 pounds and I am still obese. Still wearing X-large – out of necessity. No wonder Kaiser didn’t want to do my surgery. This is taking a very long time, and I celebrate every single pound. It makes it so real. I pray that I never have to be obese again.

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You know the truth by the way it feels.

Where is Mr. Sun this morning. I do get spoiled with all the beautiful sunshine here.

Another exciting breakthrough. The scale reads 164.8 pounds this morning. I don’t know if I’m going to make it all the way through the 160’s by the end of this month or not, but slowly and steadily we are working our way down, down, down. Even if I only were to lose one pound each week, I would be thrilled. But, I think I have already lost about 8 pounds since the first of October. This is beginning to become math, so it is a little tricky. The fact that I am never hungry and always satisfied eating potatoes has made this so easy for me. Of course, I have been eating all of my meals at home, which especially makes it easy. Not so sure right now, if I even want to leave the house before I lose this weight. I know it will slow things down. Right now, I get to stay focused and it is easy. And motivating. But, I am a mere mortal, and it will be more difficult when I am not home. Better yet, I should not self-talk to myself like that. I should tell myself, that I CAN keep up the good work. It’s potatoes. What’s easier than that!!

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Small things done are better than great things planned.

Looks like I am going to have a nice, relaxed weekend. Each time I jump up to go somewhere, or do something, I suddenly think, “Nah!”. HaHa and that’s it. Back to taking it easy. Spending a lot of time on computer. Every time I think of something – which is constantly – I jump on the computer to check it out. And then the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing. I have waaaaaaayyyyy too many questions. lol It feels good though, to have the time to do this. I’m not feeling rushed right now, which feels really good. I find, I still am going at high speed though. Would love to get to a point where I can feel myself slowing down. I think it is that my mind is always racing. Really should learn how to meditate. Bet that would be a really good thing for me.

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If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose.

Where did today go. How can I do absolutely zero and be so contented. Just am. Feels so good. Wouldn’t mind having a few more of these days.

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Keep calm and eat spuds.

Nice way to begin my morning. Stepped on the scales this morning. 165 pounds.
I am such a fan of potatoes. Is this a miracle or what? Potatoes are making my life so much more manageable. Especially, for getting this fat off. I look in the mirror. Yes, I am still fat. But, I can actually watch my body shape transform right in front of my eyes. Long way to go. But, feeling so hopeful.

Also, the repairs to the properties have been completed in Michigan. We are moving forward. Hope all continues to go well.

Got my burst of energy about 10:00pm last night. Washed and changed sheets. Vacuumed. Made big batch of potatoes. Washed dishes. I can get so much accomplished with these bursts of energy. Wonder how my body will feel when it has another 20 to 60 pounds lifted. This is really happening.

Out the door at 6:00am. Post office, Food-4-Less, Von’s, Walmart. All the usual. I love to do it, because this town is so tiny, I was back home before 7:00am. The weather is absolutely perfect. I love fall. My favorite season. I am hoping, going forward, this is the season I will be able to do my travel. Right now, too much business to take care of. But, that hopefully, won’t be an issue after this.

Yes, no word from Handyman Raymond. His trailer is back in my front yard. Just sitting quietly. For Days. With no word from Handyman Raymond. I have No Idea what this is all about. But my telephone calls only get him here for a few minutes. With lots of broken promises. I figure he has to come back some time. This is going on for months now. (Sound familiar?) I love Handymen. lol

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You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.

You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way. Elizabeth Taylor

The deepest pain I ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable. Nicole Lyons

Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren’t your problem. You stay kind, committed to love and free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don’t you dare doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep on shining like you do. Scott Stable

Stepped on scales early this morning. 166 pounds. Have to admit. That puts a little smile on my face.

Tonight is the final presidential debate before the election. Since I have been watching way too much television, will be happy when this election is over. Plus, I am hoping to take a little trip after the election. Where? I have zero idea. Most likely Arizona.

Should I really ever be in the kitchen. I bought an Instant Pot, because I keep reading how easy it is. Put the potatoes in and walk away. Easy Peasy. Right up my alley. So, the very first cup of water I put into it – poured out all over the sink. Yep – I forgot to put the inside bowl in first. Duh! I am not cut out for the kitchen. But, then, I finally made a batch of potatoes. It really was super easy. I love it!

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Walk away from people & situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals or self-worth.

Difficult, but possibly necessary. It is wrong to live a life where you are being degraded for your personal beliefs. Agree to disagree. Yes. But, feeling this badly. Don’t want to. Happens too often. Be honest. You can’t change others. Only yourself. If I continue allowing myself to be hurt, for being myself, then it is just healthier to disconnect. Which I really don’t want to. But, there have been too many instances, which I do not post, because I want to be positive. But, each time, it cuts deeper. I had the conversation, over and over, with dad. And it never solved the problem. Screamed at every single day. Promised myself, never to be treated that way again. Sadly, this is my brother. But, if this is the way he feels about me, I have to accept it. And move on. It’s sad that it hurts this much, but I don’t want to get back on this ride. I need to love him from afar. He is a really good person. But, I do not bring out the best in him. It is my problem, to deal with myself. I have to accept that I am really alone. That I can make a good life for myself. I know that he would be there for me if I really needed him. But, the day-to-day is just too difficult for him. I am sticking around right now, trying to tie up the loose ends on the duplex, and the Michigan properties. If I could finish these up, I could get on the road, and go live a little adventure. Maybe I should go for a few days, just for a change of scenery. But, I know, if I leave now, I will be needed right back here right now. Let me think about it.

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Even the smallest act of kindness counts.

Let’s be honest. I am struggling. I noticed that Cheri’s car was home from work today and went to the house to check on her. She was sleeping. Apparently she has caught a cold and is not feeling well. Things started off great with Skipper.

He was all excited about the Total Eclipse of the Sun, coming next August 21st. He asked me if I would like us to take my van, to either Salem, Oregon, or Utah, or wherever they felt the best sighting might be.

It is going to be for 2 1/2 minutes.

I said sure, that sounds like a lot of fun. Let’s do it.

Somehow, the conversation came around to voting on whether to keep or ban plastic bags at the grocery store. I’m a liberal democrat. He is a conservative republican. It was no surprise to me, that we might see that from different points of view. No biggie.

But, of course, the next moment, he is screaming at me. Telling me I am stupid, and every other derogatory name. This happens too often. I am starting to pull away. Which I really don’t want to. But, I do not like being screamed at. Might as well be back with dad.

I much prefer to just be alone. Honestly. Do I feel alone. Yes, of course. But, I would rather be alone in peace, than be verbally abused every day. I’ve spent too many years with that. And I don’t see any fun in it at all. So, I am just going to continue to go forward, and find the good in others. It’s my life, and that’s what I choose.

And she lived happily ever after.

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RV: A room with a view.

Enjoying my Sunday morning. Watching lots of videos on my laptop. This should be a nice easy-going day. Nothing really planned. Supposed to get a bit windy outside. So, I am going to just tuck myself in and enjoy this lazy day. Oh, yeah. They are going to televise the Oakland Raider’s game at 1:00pm. So, if you hear lots of yelling and cheering – it’s me!

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I am thankful for everything I have.

Gorgeous morning sun. Love it. Stepped on scale this morning. 167 pounds. This is so exciting. Why this keeps making me so happy – heck, why not! I have wanted this for Years. And it is really, really happening – right now! No more wishing and hoping and searching and yearning. Just the real deal. Do I want to eat other food. Actually, I do. But, not anywhere as much as I truly want to get this fat off of me. I’m never hungry, so that makes it do-able. I know that I am spoiled when it comes to eating all of the fun foods. People literally starve To Death every single day. And here I am, obese. Ridiculous. That is the height of self-indulgence. So darn happy to have found the solution with potatoes. Every day, I have a new High of Happy, when I see the scale shows me getting healthier. And I feel healthy every single day. No more food comas. I don’t care if this is boring for any one else. This makes me Elated with Happiness!

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