Love fills your heart.
Seems I am extra emotional. Yesterday I took a half a xanax for the first time in months. It really did help. I’m glad I took it. Tonight I had a good cry reading one of my favorite blogs 2 Simplify. Emily, the 18 year old cat had to be put to sleep. Broke my heart big time. Not sure why something like that can affect me so deeply, and then something in my real life turns me cold. Sometimes I feel that I feel emotions a bit too deeply, and it is easier/safer to turn off than to feel. It’s a bit hard to control it though. It just happens. I freeze up and can’t function. It feels so much safer to grieve over something much more distant. I wonder how I will react when dad dies. I keep thinking I am going to handle it pretty well, but honestly you never know til it happens. Somehow, in my pretend mind, I have another thirty years. lol Hey! Why not! It could happen.
Today dad and I had lunch with Uncle Joe and Auntie Isabel at Denny’s Restaurant in Pleasanton.