You deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be happy.

Dad went to exercise class this morning.  Then we met Uncle Joe and Auntie Isabel for lunch at Wendy’s restaurant in Castro Valley.  Bob Gulden is dying.  He has been our neighbor for 61 years.  He and Betty and their sons, Barry and Mike, lived across the street from us growing up.  Later Bob and Betty moved to our mobile home park here, right down the street from us.  Bob is 89.  Until recently he was in dad’s exercise class.  But, today the hospital is sending him home.  They said that we need to talk to him within a day, because he is going to go very quickly.  His body is shutting down.  We stopped by to see him, but there was a long delay, and the hospital bed had not been delivered to the house yet.  Hospice is coming tonight.  This one has kind of shaken dad and I to our core.  Every one I know these days, is at the age of dying.  I try to appreciate every single day, but it is always hanging over us.  Sometimes, I wish it would be over, and I could move on.  But, somehow I know it’s always kind of hanging over you anyway.  This is definitely the easiest time of my life.  Pretty boring.  But, I know I’ll miss how truly easy these times are.  Life is never perfect.  This end of life stuff is just so hard to wrap your head around.  Is it good?  Is it bad?  It just is.  But, it is the tough part.  Life is about change.  But the end of life is so permanent.  Is there an afterlife?  Is there reincarnation?  Is there…..  These are the questions we are just not meant to have serious answers to.  It’s just goodbye, I’ll miss you, hope to see you again.  Really.  I don’t know.  I don’t like this part.  Guess it reminds you to love and live today.  Celebrate life.  It is brief.

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